What we've got on the road, however, is a bunch of "sorta" horses masquerading as the real thing

Contributed By:Dorothy Nevils

Dumb folks shouldn’t drive. Maybe that sounds harsh, but it’s not nearly as harsh as 400+ horses under the hood and an ass behind the wheel.

Just so you know, I mean that literally, for an ass is a donkey, sorta like a horse’s cousin. In other words, they look somewhat alike, but even a donkey can tell the difference. What we’ve got on the road, however, is a bunch of “sorta” horses masquerading as the real thing, and therein lies the problem.

When I was in high school, I used to “trip out” over the regatta questions, even though I had not the foggiest idea what a regatta was, and would darn near salivate when the Smiths and Johnsons each left their home for vacation 300 miles away, one driving 60 mph and the other 65 mph, and I had to figure how much later the Smiths would arrive! For the minute it took me to work the problem back then, I could imagine myself going on a vacation when I got grown and rich! Well, I did work the problem, and I did get grown. End of story.

I can’t remember the formula now, but I always worked the problem… and I learned something that I still remember: If you go 10 or 15 miles faster than I do, weaving in and out of the traffic, you’re only going to get there, a couple minutes before I do… if you’re lucky!

Back then, most Blacks in Mounds didn’t have cars – until the boys went off to Chicago or the “service.” We had one, though, and I got excused to walk the five or six blocks across Hwy. 51 to the “separate and unequal white” school to take drivers ed, much like chemistry, but with a higher scare quotient with Waymon behind the wheel.

I learned so much, and just as I was in the classroom years later, I expected the same standards from my children. Drivers training was just to allow me to teach them. My son, with adult kids of his own called me today, exasperated. “Ma, I still remember you saying, ‘Turn left into the left lane, and right into the right lane.’ These dummies go all the way into another lane!”

So often I’ve pulled up at 6th Ave., a one-way street, wanting to turn right onto Grant, and an idiot is over all the way to the right… with the left blinker going. Sunday I made a right, after stopping, onto 5th Avenue, one-way and busy. One block up, an idiot turned from the left all the way into the center lane. It mattered not that an emergency vehicle was in the right lane blocking my path. He needed two lanes!

Many don’t gauge distance, nor watch what’s happening behind them. I saw an idiot dart from behind a car into the lane behind me. I swerved to the right giving him barely enough room to clear that car without taking my left rear fender off. He was too dumb to realize that the car he attempted to pass was also moving, steadily reducing the space he wished to occupy!

What I say next may seem harsh, but it’s the gospel truth: Dumb people should not be allowed behind the wheel of a car… except to pick up something a driver has dropped on the floor. Even then, the keys should be clasped securely in a balled-up fist… belonging to someone else.

Story Posted:03/24/2017